The Bigger Steps
On the Met steps.
It’s a funny thing when you realize something that everyone around you has known for some time. You know what I mean, you say to your mom “I’ll think I’ll be a teacher” after 3 different majors and years of her telling you you’d make a great teacher. Or you tell your best friend you’ve decided to go back to blonde because red maybe isn’t your color and she looks at you like she’s glad you’ve finally figured it out. I’ve been getting that look a lot lately.
As you may have guessed after several months of hinting, I’ve decided to move to New York. I’m not exaggerating when I say everyone I know, from old friends to new, from relatives to facebook friends I’ve never even met in person, everyone I know has had the same reaction: “Of course you are!”
And they’re right. I probably should have moved there years ago, though everything happens for a reason. The work I’m doing now – which is the most fun and challenging and rewarding and demanding in my career history – may not have come to be had I moved sooner. So of course there are reasons. But the good thing about the I-should-have-known I’m facing now is that it truly confirms that I am making the right decision. My personality, my work, my hobbies, my friends, it all lines up with New York and I’m not the only person who thinks so! (WHEW!)
The adventure begins in just a couple of short months, and you’ll surely be apprised of all the goings-on. Let me encourage you, if you’ve been wanting to make a move, start a business, or take any step that you’ve been hesitating over: Have faith in yourself. It might not be easy. It might be terrifying and risky and may or more likely may not turn out like you think. But the bigger steps are the ones that take you farther, and the places you find in life that you didn’t predict are the ones worth finding.
Here’s to your next adventure!
Reading French Poetry in Bed
In several posts I’ve promised to tell you a little more of the love story I’m living right now. Here’s a little bit of the beginning.
There’s always a moment when the next step in your life becomes inexplicably clear. From something that had crossed your mind, a little shadow in a fog, to something right in front of you filling your view of the world. Suddenly all of the necessary details, good and bad, are examinable. All you have to do is reach out and take it, make a phone call, say yes.
I have this book of French poetry. Each poem is printed twice, on opposing pages. Once in French, which I read out loud to practice my pronunciation, and once in English, which I can use to reference the translation of words I don’t know. This particular night I was reading in bed when I thought to myself how happy I was. ”I’d rather be doing this tonight than anything else,” I thought. Even further went my mind. ”I’d rather be alone and doing this than doing something different with someone.” Obviously, I struggle less with loneliness than the average human. ”But, if there was someone who would be just as happy as I am doing just this very thing with me, that would be ok, too.”
And that’s when the picture became clear. There was someone who was still a shadow in life. Then a picture of him became clear in my mind and I knew: he would be happy to be reading french poetry with me as well as many other things I value just as highly. In many ways, we were a unique and perfect fit. Then it was right in front of me. He was the one. The only thing about someone being your “one” is that they have to think you’re their “one” too, and his moment hadn’t come yet. But at least now I knew how I felt. I knew the coordinates of my heart on the map.
Not long later, lightning struck. I don’t know what his moment was, but I know there was one. Out of the blue he called to confess he was done living out of fear: fear of failing, of disappointing me. He was choosing love.
And now? We’re in different cities but that will be changing soon, and the French poetry readings will commence.
What’s an important snap-into-focus moment you’ve experienced?
I Write a Little
Cheers to a great 2011 and an even better 2012!
According to wordpress, The Ooh La La Life was viewed 27,000 times last year. THANK YOU! To kick off 2012, let’s take a look at some of your favorites and mine from last year. Then I promise you something fun and new to follow. Enjoy!
A Love Letter of Sorts: “Not a lot of artists can put their thumb into the hole in my heart and either make it throb almost unbearably or make it stop hurting for awhile.”
Water, Water Everywhere: “But in many ways we are like water. We flow and change. We nourish others. We crash on the shore. We are needed and we are good, but we can be dangerous. Sometimes we fall from the sky.”
Love Writes History in “The History of Love” ”In a game of pretending that the opposite of truth is real, Bird yells, ‘I have not been unhappy my entire life!’”
A Tree Grows in Portland: ”I don’t feel like the tree, though, rooted into a ground made just right for my flourishing.”
Planting Perennials: “It’s like our minds are ever changing gardens, seeds planted each day that may grow once, may never see the light of day, or may return over and over when the climate is right.”
Good Greif: Creating new experiences is like putting stones across a pond on which to jump. Step by step, you can move from one side to the other.
The Pulse of New York: “New York is just what I’ve been looking for: reading a book on a bench while violin music floats from just around the corner; running to catch the train and missing it but knowing there will be another in 4 minutes…the possibility of who you’ll meet or what you’ll discover with every step.”
Where Dreams Are
I am the daughter of a mattress maker, and so I pay a little extra attention to where I lay my head at night as you might expect the daughter of a mechanic to pay a little more attention to the car she is driving. This year brought many unexpected things into and out of my life, the least of which is that I became a wanderer of sorts. And so I found myself a variety of havens as I would burrow into sleep at night. In Austin, I stayed in a cozy bedroom that could have been in a European village, the bed done all in white, and I felt light as air on hot Texas nights. In New York, I slept in a high bed with a duvet so fluffy I’d stick out a foot just to reassure myself I could find a way out again when needed. And there I learned to accept the shouts and bus huffs and subway rumbles as a lullaby. There were many others, too: hotels, guest rooms in homes of strangers and friends, one stairwell (not joking). My favorite may have been in the Pacific Northwest, a region I believe God took special care in creating. My guest room there was put together with the most beautifully selected personal touches, like the mason jar vase always adorned with a fresh cut rose. My books filled the empty bookshelf from the moment I arrived, and the bed’s menagerie of colorful blankets and pillows was an ideal place to rest my soul just when I needed it the most.
After almost twelve years in Nashville I’d grown to believe I was building a home here. Come to find out that what I was building was really within myself and will be carried far away from here in the coming year. I can honestly say I don’t know whether or not I’ll come back other than to visit. I could even say I don’t quite yet know this girl I am now or what she’s capable of, but I’m looking forward to getting to know her and her limitlessness. As for the beds, other than a new home in a new city and one on a tour bus (!), I can’t say where I might find myself dreaming. Hopefully no more stairwells. But it’s more about the dreams I’m having than where I’m having them, isn’t it?
Book Recommendation: Hunting and Gathering
Hunting and Gathering by Anna Gavalda
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Previously I had read and loved one of Anna Gavalda’s collections of short stories. Hunting for more from her, I came across “Hunting and Gathering.” In the beginning, I wasn’t sure how much I liked the main characters (any of them) and was slow to get caught up without that initial feeling of relating to someone in the book. However, a little further in and I found each of them fascinating if different from myself. Character development is strong, and the dynamic between the odd group of friends is so fragile. You know they need each other and you find yourself cheering them on to make their relationships work. If you’re into action, this may not be a good read for you, but if you like interesting characters and the study of self-growth and relationships, you will find beauty in this book and enjoy it thoroughly!
Renewed Hope
I am thrilled with the recently renewed fairy tales on TV: Once Upon a Time and Grimm. I’ve only seen one episode of Grimm, but I am really into Once! If you haven’t seen them, both are modern takes on the classic stories, centered around the place where these fairy tales of history meet the real world almost seamlessly.
I think there are more fairy tales in our lives today than we dare to imagine. The sunsets out my window alone are like magic. There is romance there. The opportunities we are given in our lives, the friends who charm our days, the love we find in another person – beyond logic.
“Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten.” G.K. Chesterton
And love! Sometimes the thing you least expect to happen does. The poisoned girl in the glass coffin wakes with a kiss. The prince defeats the fire breathing dragon (not to mention the forest of thorns, the treacherous moat and the guarded tower), the guy you thought had moved away and forgotten you drives fifteen hours and shows up at your door.
I am living a fairy tale of my own. My hope has been renewed right along with all the old stories. I can’t wait to tell you mine, but it’s still being written. Perhaps I’ll tell you the beginning of it soon.
Tell me: What’s your favorite love story, fairy tale or otherwise?
A Memorable Walk in New York
When I was in New York last month, my mom came up to visit for a few days. We had just come out from walking in the Park and were headed east past the Met and the cluster of food carts. We crossed 5th avenue and turned north when we brushed past an old woman standing at the curb.
“Excuse me!” the woman called out, and we turned. “Would you help me across?”
Mom smiled and took the woman’s arm, started back across the street from where we’d come, asked her how long she’d lived in New York, where she was headed. Though she’d lived in the neighborhood a long time, she couldn’t see very well and was having trouble finding her doctor’s office.
We walked the woman across the street and around the corner, opened the door for her. I thought to myself, if only it were so easy as to have someone take me by the arm and walk me to the right place. I guess life doesn’t hand you those courtesies until you’ve earned them.
What truly touched me about this moment though was my mother. Not only was she not concerned about taking the time to help this woman, I could see the sparkle in her eyes, the sincerity of her smile, hear the eagerness in her questions. My mom received joy from helping this woman. Maybe that’s something that comes with age, too. Or perhaps it’s just a gift, her servant’s heart. Regardless, my mother – both my parents actually – continue to inspire me with their work ethic and their truly giving spirits.
Something to focus on this holiday season: give with joy.
*Photo by Michael Carlton, Paris.
Thankful
My birthday last week had me thinking a lot about what the last year held and what’s to come in the next. Add to that the quickly approaching holidays, and I’ve becoming a puddle of reminiscing, dreaming, thankfulness. If you had asked me on January first of this year where I would be in my life on December 31st, everything I would have said to you would have been wrong.
And thank goodness.
At the time I was still trying to build a career that I enjoyed but didn’t challenge me, and now I am running my own company doing something I love that uses my unique variety of skills. My writing has grown up into what I believe is a polished and singular voice all my own – and people are reading it! I could not be more thankful for that. In love, I’ve been able to revisit a past relationship which I’d deemed hopeless, but the rediscovery of it is bringing me more joy than I could imagine. (More on this to come). Old friendships have blossomed and new ones have taken strong root. The ability to travel, which was a goal for the year I didn’t think I would reach, surpassed even that unlikely goal.
What a lesson! Our own plans may be grand, but we cannot imagine the richness of the life God has planned for us. If we are willing to let Him lead, though I struggle with this as all do, we find ourselves so thankful we were willing to let go of our own suddenly disappointing plans. His are glorious.
Of course, I know better now than to predict too much what next year may hold, but what’s on the calendar so far is pretty exciting. A nationwide tour (a dream of mine since high school!) and a move to a new city. Hopes? The continued growth of beautiful friendships, the success of my company, and the adventure of love. And much more, of course!
What did this year bring to you that you didn’t expect? What are you hoping for in the next?
The Pulse of New York
Of all my travels this fall, my two weeks in New York were by far my favorite. Though I loved the peace and quiet in Portland, and I believe peace and quiet is vital for our emotional restoration, I felt more at home amidst the hustle and bustle of life in Manhattan. After I adjusted to the nighttime street sounds, I actually found the din to be kind of a lullaby at night. The world doesn’t stop when we do, does it? I found a home in a little coffee shop a block from where I was staying. It was tiny and had the best iced coffee and brownies and a super nice staff. Furthermore, the seats along the window were the perfect place to sit and work while watching people stroll by.
Other memorable moments? My mom came in for a few days and we went to the top of the Empire State Building. The older I become the more afraid I am of heights, but the view was more than worth a little discomfort. I could even point and say “there’s about where I’m staying, there’s the park, there’s where the Steeler’s bar is, there’s Soho over there…” So proud of savvy navigational skills was I! Mom and I also went to see Wicked. Have you seen it? I know I am late to the boat on this one, but it’s phenomenal! The set! The costumes! The voices! The music!
Food: A local-food restaurant in alphabet city called Westville was one of the best meals I’ve ever had… a meal that made me want to laugh outload in awe after every bite of dinner and cry joyous tears after every bite of dessert. I also enjoyed the Rose Bar at Gramercy Park Hotel (black cherries in my jack and coke!), Lure in Soho, Macaron Cafe at Madison and 59th and pretty much everything in the West Village.
New York is just what I’ve been looking for: the solitude of a walk through the park watching yellow leaves falling into the pond; reading a book on a bench while violin music floats from just around the corner; running to catch the train and missing it but knowing there will be another in 4 minutes, emerging from the subway not knowing where you’ll end up and finding yourself in Columbus Circle where the blue sky reflects off the buildings; high fives and new friends in the Steelers bar on the upper west side; looking in the windows at Bergdorf’s and thinking they must belong to an art museum; coming out your front door, raising your arm, and having a cab abruptly sweep you up, the possibility of who you’ll meet or what you’ll discover with every step. The pulse of New York mirrors my own.
Here are some shots from my visit there. I’m not confirming or denying any rumors, but New York can expect to see me again very soon.
In My Absence
A sneak peek of my New York trip
Hi sweet readers,
I have so much to tell you about my travel to New York and some more reviews of the books I’ve been loving lately. (Have you run out to get The History of Love yet? Why not!? GO!) But all of that will come soon. I am eyeballs deep in putting the finishing touches on my book for spring publication and I’ve also been working on a side project that I hope to have available for the holidays. Let’s call it a little aperitif for you. So pardon my absence as of late, but I hope you will thank me later.
Love!
