Want more of a taste of Loved? Here is a random sampling of quotes from the book!
I tucked the Camel coupon from his cigarette pack into my pocket. A souvenir of the moment where he said maybe. I would hold on to his maybe for as long as it would take, even forever.
The voice sang on, “I am ready, I am ready, I am fine. I am fine, I am fine, I am fine.” I played it again. I was not fine.
If they were the jokes, I was the punch line.
And so I just kept writing to myself.
It was strange walking through the empty apartment. My battered purple room was gone, Brittany’s bruised blue was gone. Two coats covered everything. It was like none of it had ever happened.
I threw his framed picture off my balcony just to hear my heart break.
I decided I would fill the emptiness in me with God and with paint.
I wrote. I wrote all the things I couldn’t say to him. I wrote about how much I believed in us. I wrote about how much I trusted God. I wrote that I was praying for him. I wrote down all the jokes I could remember, which weren’t many.
Each guy stamped the passport of my heart. “You’re worthy.” Stamp. “You’re enough.” “You have not failed completely.” Stamp, stamp.
I used to cover my windows in heavy curtains, never drawn. Now I danced in the sunlight on my hardwood floors.
Unfortunately, he still hadn’t asked for my number, or a date, or my hand in marriage, and my drink was getting low.
I didn’t answer. We were not buddies. We could not chat about the proximity of our offices, or football, or forgiveness.
Go for it, my heart said, my heart always said.
I told him I had once lost everything I had, too, and that I think that can be God’s way of building walls around us to force us to look up at Him.
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